Since moving back to New Jersey in September 2009, we always knew that a home purchase was going to take about three years. We repaired our credit after some youthful stupidity along with taking a hit on our home sale in Rochester, we socked money away and we learned all we could about the surrounding towns. We finally decided we wanted to stay close to where we are, but not in the same town because of schools. Everything was in place for us to begin the long trudge through open house after open house.

At the very beginning of the year, we sat down with our landlord, who is also our real estate agent to discuss everything. Two weeks later, we walked into a private showing for a house that had just gone up. While there were some things we didn’t love (only one garage, a little closer to a main road than we liked), we were won over by the space and the care put into the maintenance of the house. We moved on an offer, surprising ourselves by how quickly we found something that seemed pretty darn close to our ideal home.

Things moved smoothly at first. The house was listed at $619,000 and we put in a very competitive offer. We wanted to communicate we were serious and, based on the acceptance without a counter, we hit the sweet spot. Everyone was happy. The agents were thrilled and the seller was astonished to receive such a good offer, in January, in this climate. Unfortunately, attorney review isn’t always a formality.

Before we could even breathe a sigh of relief, the Seller’s attorney started making noise. We were initially approved for an FHA loan and, while that used to mean silly things like requirements to paint the house or put in more attractive railings, right now, it’s a means for people to afford down payments on properties in markets with extremely high property values. It’s the difference between putting down 10% and putting down 3%. In this market, that’s huge. Thankfully, we were able to sidestep this issue because of Danielle’s profession. There are a few lenders out there still offering 0% down, 0 PMI (that’s Private Mortgage Insurance) loans for physicians. We got our prequalification quickly, meeting the Seller’s attorney’s demands, and thought we were clear to move forward and get out of attorney review.

Not so fast.

Now, the Seller’s attorney had a problem with us not putting any money down (which is not the same as not putting down a guarantee amount, we would just get that back at closing). For some reason, The Seller’s attorney was obsessed with our financing, and it’s none of her business. It finally came out that it wasn’t really about our financing. Rather, there is concern about the appraisal. BIG difference. It was also revealed that the Seller’s attorney is not a real estate lawyer. Rather, she’s the Seller’s sister, which explains the problem with FHA and misunderstanding what it means to not have to put any money down (she thought we could just walk away from the deal at any time and not lose a thing… which isn’t entirely different than any other mortgage).

The Seller’s attorney responded with an absurd request that we guarantee the difference between the purchase price and the appraised value, regardless. When we responded that we could only do between purchase and the Seller’s take home after concessions, it wasn’t good enough. Essentially, the Seller’s attorney wants us to guarantee $8,000 under appraisal. No one in their right mind would do this. Starting out your home ownership under water isn’t smart and it certainly isn’t fair. Moreover, the sister/attorney, who is likely to be representing the Seller when she purchases her new home (in progress), would NEVER allow that to fly.

Right now, I’ve had one of the most stressful weeks of my life, haven’t slept and find myself with a hair trigger. What should have been a (relatively) easy transaction has become a nightmare. We’re emotionally distancing ourselves from the house and it’s painful. It should never have played out like this.

So, if you saw those tweets or Facebook posts about the house trauma, now you know (mostly) the full story.

I had to share this conversation with my good friend Giles (@squeakingbuddha). As you may have seen, I had some issues with Amazon botching the shipping/delivery of one of Paul’s birthday gifts and then claiming the problem was due to a sandstorm (*cough*bullshit*cough*). This won’t be funny if you aren’t familiar with Frank Herbert’s Dune.

@squeakingbuddha: Did amazon ever make things right somehow on Paul’s bday gift? Or at least try?

@mmmfutter: They gave me a $20 credit, but I had to ask for it. All they offered was refunding the $3.99 on each item… so they ended up making it a bit better, until they blamed a sandstorm. Don’t use UPS. Use Muad’dib!

@squeakingbuddha: Is Muad’dib your son’s middle name? Would be awesome but I don’t think you would have gotten it past the wife.

@mmmfutter: Or airport security.

@squeakingbuddha: holy crap. Almost coughed up a lung laughing.

I need your help. In order for me to survive this fall, I need to pare down my pre-order list. It’s… too big. (That’s what she said.)

Here’s what’s on tap with release dates.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution – August 23, 2011

Team ICO collection – September 2011

Gears of War 3 (CE) – September 23, 2011

Dead Island – September 30, 2011

Dark Souls – October 4, 2011

Twisted Metal – October 7, 2011

Batman: Arkham City – October 21, 2011

Battlefield 3 – October 25, 2011

Uncharted 3 (will order CE when available) – November 1, 2011

Skyrim – November 16, 2011

PS Vita – Holiday 2011

PS VIta Games x 2 (Uncharted?  Tekken x Street Fighter?  Ruin?)

Mass Effect 3 (CE) – March 6, 2012

Ghost Recon Future Soldier – March 2012

Bioshock Infinite – 2012

… and E3 isn’t even over yet. It also doesn’t include the 3DS plus a game or two that we’ll be getting for our daughter and Once Upon a Monster for our little guy (holidays 2011).

Gracie and I had the opportunity to duke it out in Marvel vs Capcom 3 last night. Thanks to the new “Simple” mode, she was able to remain competitive without having to worry about move inputs.

Unfortunately, “Simple” is designed only to work with the standard 360 or PS3 controller. I purchased a fightstick so she would have an easier time. Large, brightly colored buttons and a single movement stick are far easier than manipulating a gamepad with more buttons than necessary, two thumbsticks, and a d-pad.

“Simple” mode locks in button functions and locks out customization.

For the stick I have, this places the assist/tag functions at the top, on very small buttons, away from the standard playspace. I was worried that meant that she would ignore those two, thereby using characters sequentially. I was pleased to be wrong.

She and I played a handful of matches, using a variety of characters. I loved that she was very specific about wanting to use Spidey in his Iron Spider costume and Storm to electrocute me. She did win a few matches, especially when she chose Dante and Hulk (both have great, long and tall horizontal moves mapped to a button… spammer).

I am thrilled that she got the hang of the game basics and was able to hang with me (I’m not very good, which helps). She is excited to dive back in tonight and, other than getting upset after my third consecutive win when we started, was a good sport. It bears mentioning that many of the matches I took were not blowouts. Simple mode accomplishes the goal of making new players feel like rock stars.

The best part, though, didn’t come until this morning. The first thing that Gracie said to me when she woke up? “Good fight last night, Dad!”

The hoops to get this resolved didn’t make me feel good about the purchase, but, once I was through them, the matter was handled.

Ordered some speaker tags this morning. Looking forward to getting those late next week.

I contacted EA regarding an order I had placed that wasn’t showing up in my account, but had been charged to my card. After waiting 20 min, I got a guy named Ronald. Or, more likely, his name is “Ronald.”

After saying some pretty odd things about my order (it would ship after 7 business days, but I’d receive it in 5, etc), I thought I’d have a little fun.  Here’s the chat transcript:

The fun stuff starts about 2/3 of the way down after he begs me not to worry about the order.

Ronald: Hi, my name is Ronald. How may I help you?
2260705408: Hi. I want to check on an order that was placed yesterday and charged to my card, but is not showing up in your system. The order numbers is 9613560142 .
Ronald: Sure.
2260705408: I followed the instructions in the email and logged into my account, but it isn’t appearing there.
Ronald: Your order has been successfully placed with us.
2260705408: Can you tell me why I can’t see that on my account on your website?
Ronald: It is for Need for Speed Hot Pursuit for Xbox 360.
2260705408: yup
2260705408: that’s the one
2260705408: glad to know it’s in process, but still concerned that I can’t track it like the email says I should be able to
Ronald: You have placed an order from “xxxxxxx@xxx.com” email address on 27/01/11.
2260705408: yes
2260705408: and that’s the email address associated with my account
2260705408: when I log in, that’s my username
Ronald: don’t worry you should able to see it after 24 hours from now.
2260705408: ok
2260705408: can you give me an estimate as to when that will be shipped?
Ronald: Generally we shipped the product after 7 business days from the date of placing the order.
2260705408: what?!
2260705408: you wait a week to ship the order?
2260705408: that’s insane
Ronald: You have been charged $25.66 for the game.
2260705408: Yes. I have
2260705408: you charged me immediately, but aren’t shipping it until a week from Monday?!
Ronald: You should receive the shipment after 5 days from now don’t worry.
2260705408: “After 5 days”
2260705408: So between 6 days and infinity?
Ronald: I mean 5 business days from now.
2260705408: And if you guys don’t ship for 7 business days, how am I supposed to get it in 5?
2260705408: So, back to my question, when will this item leave the warehouse?
Ronald: As you placed an order on 27th Jan you will receive the shipment on 3rd Feb.
2260705408: OK. That makes sense. Thank you for the specificity.
2260705408: And I should expect to receive a tracking number today, then?
Ronald: Sure.
2260705408: OK. Thank you.
Ronald: You will receive your tracking number tomorrow.
Ronald: Is there anything further I may assist you with today?
2260705408: Wait. You just said that I would get it today.
Ronald: I mean you should receive your tracking number.
2260705408: Right. You said I would receive my tracking number today.
2260705408: 2260705408: And I should expect to receive a tracking number today, then?
Ronald: Sure.
2260705408: See
2260705408: right there
Ronald: Sorry for the quick response.
Ronald: You should receive your tracking number tomorrow.
2260705408: So, when you responded, “Sure” it was really more of a blowoff response than an actual response?
Ronald: Don’t worry your order has been successfully placed with us.
Ronald: You will definitely receive the shipment on 3rd Feb.
Ronald: If not than please come back to us with your order number for the refund.
2260705408: Why would I come back to you for a refund. I would want the product I ordered at the price I ordered it.
Ronald: But there will be no need for the refund as you will receive the shipment absolutely.
Ronald: I had checked your order twice in our database.
Ronald: Please don’t worry.
2260705408: My mom used to say that to me.
2260705408: And then she left.
2260705408: I don’t know where she is.
2260705408: So all I have is this package.
2260705408: Please.
2260705408: Don’t make my package leave, too. I mean, make it leave you. And then get to me.
2260705408: But not leave me.
Ronald: Absolutely.
2260705408: Will you play online with me when I get it?
Ronald: We will deliver your product don’t worry.
Ronald: Sure.’
2260705408: Awesome.
Ronald: If there is anything else I can help you with, please let me know.
2260705408: As long as you’re not going to molester me.
2260705408: Nope. Thank you for your help, Ronald.
2260705408: Can’t wait to race the vroom vrooms with you.
Ronald: Ok.
Ronald: It was my pleasure to assist you. I would greatly appreciate your taking the time to complete the survey which you will receive in your email.
2260705408: Sweet. Will do!
Ronald: Thank you for contacting Electronic Arts.
Ronald: Goodbye and take care.
2260705408: You, too.
Ronald: Have a wonderful day!
2260705408: Wheeeee!
Ronald: You will enjoy your game soon don’t worry!
2260705408: Thanks, man.
Ronald: Bye!
2260705408: Bye bye!
You have disconnected.

The folks at AstroGaming are working to get me my cable ASAP (by Friday at latest).

I appreciate the help and wanted to make sure that I shared that with you all.

I received my new Astro Gaming A30 Wireless system today. I’ve heard great things via word of mouth about Astro Gaming’s products and, with a 15 day no-worry return policy, it seemed like a great birthday present for myself.

I haven’t had the opportunity to use them much, yet, but I am beyond impressed with the quality of the product so far. I wish I could say the same for the ordering and shipping process. I ordered my products on Sunday January 16 with the expectation (per the Astro Gaming website) that my products would ship on Monday January 17. Since they were coming via FedEx, I had no reason to expect that MLK Day would cause a problem. There was no notice on the website that they would be closed, either (and I’m not sure they were as my credit card was charged on Monday).

OK, fine. They didn’t ship on Monday. Tuesday, though, right? Wrong. Apparently, they had a big order because of a new product launch and, too bad for me, they didn’t go out on Tuesday (but, again, they managed to charge my card just fine). Oooooooo K. Astro Gaming was able to refund my shipping, but couldn’t upgrade the speed because they were already on a pallet. Both the email service rep and the Twitter support were both fairly responsive, and they should be commended for that.

They shipped on Wednesday January 18… and I received them one week later. One week. Fine. They’re here, I’m happy, let’s get this party started… or not.

Despite taking an extra TWO days to ship, I didn’t receive the all-important PS3/PC chat cable that enables wireless use with chat capabilities. 

I contacted support and was told the following:

1. Thanks for calling, but you need to file a ticket online that the same support rep could then respond to. Problem: the customer has to go through an extra step rather than you taking the information and creating the ticket? Why?

2. I had to take pictures to prove that I received the wrong item (a power plug that allows me to use my wireless system in Australia. Great.). Pictures of the shipping order. Pictures of the incorrect item. Pictures of the whole damn order together. Problem: This is a $10 item. I spent $260 on the entire order. You’re telling me that after jumping through the call, then submit online hoop, I have to prove that your shipping department screwed up? That’s nuts.

3. After sending the pictures, I have not received an acknowledgement that they were received. I have no idea when the chat cable will arrive.

I respect and understand Astro’s desire to sell online and at conventions only. It cuts costs significantly and their MLG affiliation is great for everyone involved. However, if you’re going to run the business this way, you need to have a better handle on your ordering/shipping/resolution process. Nothing is more frustrating than waiting a week and a half for an order only to find out that it was screwed up AND have to prove that it was messed up. The proper response is, “I’m so sorry and we’ll overnight you the correct item immediately. We can cross-ship so you can get your item faster (charge me for the replacement) and we’ll send you a tag for the incorrect item and refund you immediately upon its arrival in the warehouse.”

Right now, I’m just hoping I have no other problems, because I’m starting to get upset with all of the shipping problems.

Now that I’ve secured my DCUO character name (well, one of them), I can finally share.

Meet… Lad Liberty!

The idea for this character came from recent episodes of The Colbert Report. As faithful viewers know, one phrase in the intro changes from time to time. Most recently, it has said, “Lad Liberty.”

I decided to make a character in the spirit of Mr. Colbert with that interesting phrase as my inspiration.

Name: Stevie Colbert
Alias: Lad Liberty
Movement type: Flight
Power: Fire
Weapons: Dual Pistols

Origin: While walking home from a Young Republicans meeting, Young Stevie Colbert was bitten by a mystic (and possibly rabid) bald eagle, causing Stevie to sprout the wings of an eagle and imbuing him with the fire of Lady Liberty’s torch.

Now, with his two pistols (affectionately named Reagan and Sweetness), whenever Stevie passionately shares his political opinions, he transforms into… Lad Liberty, defender of the 2nd Amendment and scourge of the unpatriotic!

(This might not be my main, but he’s awesome nonetheless.)

I’ve now had the opportunity to play both the PS3 and PC betas of DC Universe Online, the new MMO from Sony.

Let me start by saying that, unless something changes between now and release, the PC and PS3 platforms will be independent. This is truly unfortunate for a number of reasons. First, it means that the community will be fractured. Players with both a gaming-worthy PC and a PS3 will have to make a hard decision.  For the PS3, it is additionally troubling due to the failure of any MMO to find success in the console world (with the exception of Final Fantasy XI that allowed cross-platform play).  It is conceivable that if players choose the PC version over the PS3 version, that the PS3 edition could see an early demise while the PC survives.

DCUO starts with an entertaining video that sets the stage for the narrative. Taking place in the future, the Legion of Doom has completed their triumph over the Justice League. Earth’s greatest heroes are dead. Before Lex Luthor and company can celebrate, though, they discover that while their war raged, Brainiac has positioned himself to conquer the Earth. Luthor escapes back in time and, after alerting the JLA to the danger, triggers a global event that imbues innumerable normals with metahuman powers.  This is where you come in.

DCUO features a robust character creator and allows the player to choose Male and Female, Hero and Villain, Movement (flight, acrobatics, superspeed), Mentor, and other fun options. On the PS3 version, I created a flying, nature-based, hand-blasting villain (Plaguewind is his name) and on the PC, I created an acrobatic, gadget-based, rifle wielder hero named Blindfire.  Both Hero and Villain alike start aboard Brainiac’s ship and must escape, guided by Calculator for villains and Oracle for heroes.

Once your character escapes from Brainiac’s ship (which is a tutorial mission that serves to teach the basics of combat — more on that later), the game shows its true MMO colors. While the early going is still a tutorial, it quickly becomes a matter of “talk to this person” and “kill X enemies.” There are a few interesting variants including the villainous “impersonate a scientist” missions that require that you knock out a scientist who is guarded by police, take his clothes, and then, while disguised, use a machine for nefarious purposes.  (For the record, I’ve reached level 6 with my PS3 villain and level 4 with my PC hero.)

As for gameplay, both versions support mouse and keyboard. This is expected. What is a surprise, though, is that the PC version supports both the XBox 360 controller and the PS3 controller (both wired and via bluetooth – if you have a dongle that the user-made driver supports).  I used both and found that the PS3 controller worked better, even wired, because of the default button layout. Changing the key mapping for the 360 controller is a bit of trial and error and didn’t feel right to me.  Now, I know that my PC-gaming friends and other MMO lovers must think I’m crazy for suggesting a controller for this.  Unlike many other MMOs that I’ve tried (which does NOT include WoW), DCUO is built for a controller. The PS3 beta is currently a bit sluggish when accessing the menus (which I expect to work as expected by launch), but other than that, navigating and executing functions is perfectly tuned for using a Dual Shock 3.  The game plays like an action brawler (think Marvel: Ultimate Alliance) the L2 button toggles your face buttons to special moves (both my nature-based hand-blaster and my gadget-based rifler started with similar special moves – a lasso that pulls enemies close – but my rifle-user’s was a taser, too).  Healing and other items are mapped to buttons, also, and are activated with an R2 combination.  Locking on is simple with a press and hold of the L1 button and basic attacks are pulled off with Square and Triangle (which correspond to melee and range for both of my characters).  Honestly, I cannot imagine playing this game with a keyboard and mouse.

The game moves very quickly. You need to stay on the move and avoiding attacks is in real-time (instead of taking place “under the hood” like in many other MMOs).  Each of the movement types allows for vertical movement. Acrobats climb walls and Runners run up the sides of buildings.  In my experience, flyers have a definite advantage in terms of movement because they do not require a surface to get them up high. Acrobats can glide from point to point.  I’m not sure if Runners have something similar to help them get from rooftop to rooftop.  There are also races similar to inFAMOUS and Crackdown that are tuned to the different movement styles.  All of these help to differentiate DCUO from the crowded MMO market.

I am looking forward to playing more and hope that I start finding some more interesting objective-based missions in addition to the standard (yet well-disguised) MMO tropes.

DCUO has a lot going for it. Interesting combat with a great deal of variety and combos, extremely high production values, and a robust character creator that will allow comic book lovers to put on the tights of their favorite hero (or villain) archetype.